One of reasons why it’s taken me a while to release music has been lack of confidence.

Not lack of confidence with the art itself, because I feel really good about my ideas. I still enjoy listening to my songs, and I love to blast them in the car or play them on my basement system when I am doing laundry. I sometimes do a dance while I am listening, and I tell my daughter, “That’s Mama!” when we have danced together.

I also know there are people that like listening to my music. They have told me so, and I like that.

But it has been confusing and challenging for me to put a price on my art. I have never been drawn to business or finance for either my interests or work, although I do enjoy budgeting.

I am aware that this is a total cliche: For me art is really obviously separate from money. Music is creative and really connecting, but money is more black and white, as numbers and math. So I solved this problem by giving my albums away, or not sharing them at all. Then I can just do the fun part. There.

As a result of my lack of participation in the music business, I was nervous and proud when I got accepted into a new(ish) streaming service for Minnesota musicians, and, gulp, that I would be getting a check in the mail.

MN Spin is the first “real” check that I have gotten for my music. There is something about getting paid that makes me– reluctantly!– see my art as having increased value. This is a good thing though, because it has energised me again. I also am anticipating more traffic on my website, and it has made me excited to write.

MNspin is funded by Friends of Hennepin County Library. As pulled from their website Mission Statement:

Now Minnesota musicians can connect with new audiences through MNspin, a new online collection of Minnesota music curated by local experts that launched winter 2017…. Music is available to stream or download.

Minnesota artists gain exposure, and music lovers can explore the rich diversity of the local scene and find new favorite local artists and bands.

-MN Spin, Hennepin County public library-

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I am also in a feel good about sharing my thoughts right now because I have been getting a lot of views from China. There have been a lot around 300 in the last 30 days that have come from Baidu search engine, and also out of China. This shows that people are typing my name to see what they find about me. It makes me curious. Maybe someone played a few of my songs on a radio show? or in a Tik Tok thing?

If you find this blog post from Baidu, write to me and let me know how you found my music! It is nice to meet you.

-Clare Lockman